Oh Those Boobies!
June 6, 2008 9:55 am that's life, babyActually, it’s not what you think. I am not about to confess some ill-developed craving for female breasts. Instead, I want to make yet another comment on the (in)famous Barbie doll.
As a boy (and growing up in a Communist country) I, quite naturally, never had access to a Barbie. But now, a father of two beautiful daughters, it was just a matter of time when I would have to face the harsh reality of the B-world.
We’ve actually had some fake Barbie dolls for a while. Horrid as they are, you know kids want what their friends have. But the greatest evil (OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit) seized us last Friday when a real Barbie doll was given to us by a friend of my mother-in-law.
So, the kids (mainly the older one, Les) have been playing with it since. And everything seemed OK. Until the day came that I would rue having brought this minion of the corporate world to my home. That day was today.
Les was packing her stuff for a weekend at grandma’s. Among other things, she was taking her Barbie doll. But not in the evening gown. She wanted her in the bridal dress. She slowly undid the buttons (or snaps) and pulled off the gown. And I thought, “What the…?”
The body revealed to me was more grotesque than I could have imagined it (and trust me, I had imagined it before). But the reality was even more shocking: tiny, slender tushy and humongous breasts, roughly twice the size of the waist.
I feel really sorry for Barbie. I understand now why she can never learn to walk: she constantly stands on the tips of her toes (I bet you’ve noticed it), and those boobs must really be pulling her to the ground. Wonder why Mattel never designed a wheelchair for Barbie?