pprof’s 2008 website

If you worry too much about your future, you might be failing to see the problems others around you are facing today.

And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? (Luke 12:25, NAS)

I just turned on the TV to watch a little bit of this political debate and was quite delighted to see my favorite politician, former Finance Minister Ivan Miklos. Yep, I thought, I know why I like him. He always approaches the subject in that matter-of-fact tone, mentions facts rather than rumors and pure conjectures.

His opponent in the debate, Minister of Culture Marek Madaric, in contrast, despite his businessman-like elegance, was pure fluff: We are doing whatever we can. Of course, we make mistakes. But we really are doing our best. And yes, we may have faltered in some cases but our efforts are for the greatest benefit of the society… (you get the point)

So what can this government do besides throwing in lofty phrases? Well, it can pass feel-good regulations. Regulations in education, healthcare, … you name it, they’ve probably at least attempted to regulate it. So what’s wrong with all these regulations?

Well, let’s say you have a problem with your child. No, you have a problem with students in your class. Does what you say to the child always make a difference? You don’t solve the problems; you talk. And as much as I love talking, I like getting things accomplished better. I like what’s matter-of-fact. I like offering someone a helping hand when they take the initiative rather than forcing some well-inclined (but inefficient) solution on the “huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

But I guess for the two years to follow we’ll still have to listen to the well-meaning voices of our “social(ist) politicians.” But for now, all I can say is “It must be the heat, or some rare disease, or too much to eat, or maybe it’s fleas.” (from West Side Story) Or else I can’t explain what they’re doing. And as for what they say, I’ll stick to Anne Bradstreet’s “I’ll stop my ears at these thy charms and count them for my deadly harms.”

The main intersection near the hospital was a mess this morning. A guy in a pair of tux pants and a turquoise colored shirt (don’t ask me why) told someone on the phone: “Can’t make it. I just f–ed up X’s car.” Behind him were two cars, both badly damaged in the front. One of them, with the driver airbag popped up, had obviously crashed into the traffic light post.

The meeting had to be canceled. Or whatever it was that the drivers of both cars had been up to. When you’re in a traffic accident, people all of a sudden understand there are more important things than work. But what if a mother of two said to her boss, “Sorry, can’t be at today’s meeting. My kid has a Mother’s Day thing at school.” Or if a husband called in to say he’s staying with his sick wife.

I really wonder what it takes for us to put first things first. Should we be looked down on because we care about our families? Should bosses think of their employees less? Or is it just deaths and traffic accidents that matter?

“It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.” I guess you may have already heard that before. One thing, though, that this saying fails to tell you is that there are other things which can be just as important (or perhaps even more) than being nice.

I’m a nice guy. Everybody knows that, right? But I’m well over my initial feel-good niceness to others. Why? Simply because it gets you nowhere. And even worse, it gets no one else anywhere.

Imagine a situation where you need to deal with a problem. One person complains about another person (let’s call them “the bully”), who is making the lives of others at your workplace miserable. You’ve heard of this before, so you nod along. You nod along because you want to be nice.

The person leaves your office. And life goes on. You were nice to them. But you also want to be nice to the bully. You talk to them. And life goes on.

Summary: the problem does not go away by itself. You have not solved it by “being nice”. People are still feeling miserable. So the point is: It’s nice to be nice, but it’s nicer to be efficient. If you’ve been in the situation, you know what I’m talking about.

Here’s a little children’s story with a point. And a few follow-up questions. It might seem silly, but it’s actually about relationships. With a good teacher/group leader, I think it could work well for smaller kids.

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A long time ago, there were two friends: The green man and the red man. They took turns in helping people cross the road safely. For a while, everything was fine. But in the summer, the green man said, “I’m too hot.” The red man was hot too but decided to stay in the sun longer to help his friend, thinking, “It’s just for the summer.” But in the fall, the green man said, “It’s too wet outside.” And the red man thought, “It’s just for the fall.” So he stayed outside longer for his friend. But in the winter, the green man was too cold. And the red man wanted to be a friend.

Year by year, the green man was too hot, too cold; the weather too wet or too windy. And the red man wanted to be a friend. Then one day the green man said, “I don’t want to go outside at all.” But the red man replied, “How are the people ever going to cross the road? And what about me? I need some rest too.” Reluctantly, the green man went. And he still does. But if you look at him, he always seems just about to take off. In the meantime, the red man stands still, with no intent of walking out on his friend. He still hopes one day his friend will understand and things will be back the way they used to be. After all, the green man still is his best friend.

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Follow-up questions (for group discussion):
1. How did things change between the red man and the green man?
2. What did the green man do wrong?
3. What did the red man do wrong?
4. How can they work things out again?
5. What does the story teach you about friendship?